There has been flow and there has been progress and for awhile, it felt as if I were cruising down some golden highway that was both my creation and my destiny.

I created a brand and a story, some great ideas for promotion and website features. I told my story and got support. But then, I tried to find a logo. The logo and name of the brand have to encapsulate this story: the story of being a hero and being recognized, of connectedness with nature and between women. It is a powerful symbol and a generous symbol.

So I started researching legends. I was looking for a legend of a hero who went on a quest to save her (or his) village and returned victorious. As a reward for his (or her) heroic deed, the village should present her with a special gift. Then I would use that gift as a symbol for the brand because I wanted it to powerfully evoke of the story. I thought such a legend would be easy to find because it seems so intuitive. I searched non-stop for 4 days. I asked for stories on forums. I emailed university professors. I might have read a hundred hero legends. But most of them involved killing something and the reward was usually immortality or a trophy wife. The more I looked, the more desperate I began to feel.

I realized that the right story must come from the indigenous people themselves, and since there is no written record of their legends, I will have to go ask them. So I made the long rough journey to the jungle village again.

I asked everyone about legends: are there any about animals? Are there any about heros? The answer was “Yes. We have so many legends.” Can you tell me some? “Oh, no. Only the very old people who live on the mountains know those old legends.” I felt dismayed and even more lost.

I had, however, decided on the material for the logos. The Embera and Woonan tribes of Panama make exquisite detailed carvings out of tagua seeds, also known as “vegetable ivory”. This is a very precious but completely sustainable material. When my designer friend Doug held a tagua carving of an iguana up to the bag, it looked awesome. Tagua is almost considered as a gem material and I think it is appropriate in so many ways to be a part of these bags: it is valuable, it is from the region, it is natural, it is a seed which is a symbol in itself of life and potential.

I met a very nice Woonan artist named Gusti. I saw all of his animal carvings and I asked him “Why are these animals so special to the Woonan? What are the legends and stories you have about them?” He said “Yes, we have so many legends about all of these animals - lots of stories, tons!” Can you tell me some? “Oh, no I don’t know them. Only the old people know them. My father knows lots of stories - ha can talk for hours.”

A week later I went to San Blas, another indiginous region of Panama where the Kuna live and I asked them the same question. And they gave me the same answer.

The stories and legends of Panama that are thousands of years old will be dead in 20 years and lost forever. In part, it is the fault of the people themselves for not actively learning the stories and passing them on. But in part, it is the fault of the rest of the world. By leaving their traditional ways and learning new things that will help them get jobs in the cities and farms, they make more money and improve their lives. The truth is that these stories have value, not just to me looking for a good logo, but to anthropoligists and students, and really humankind.

I was working and sweating so much so that I could have this story pinned down and the logos made and the prototype bags ready by April 20th. That’s the date Amy, my friend the model will leave Panama and be able to have the photos taken.

But it doesn’t seem to be working out that way. I could grab a quick answer and have something made and forget the lost stories. But that’s not really the spirit of this project, is it? I had a schedule, but the universe had different plans. So the logo will have to wait while I collect the legends and the stories of the indigenous people of Panama.

I don’t know if I will find the right logo idea or not, but for now I have to let it go. These stories have to be recorded now. It is more important than me, or my schedule or my project.

I have an appointment for tomorrow afternoon with Gusti’s father, the Woonan elder who knows them all. Then, in a week or so, I will go back to the jungle to trek in the mountains to find the elders of that tribe who know the stories. I only have 2 weeks left in Panama. I don’t know if it’s enough time. I don’t know what the future will bring. I will just hold my intention in my heart and hope that the universe conspires again.

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